Early Daydreams, Youthful Vision
Since I was a young girl I have had a vivid imagination and a desire to slip endlessly into daydreams, surround myself with nature, water, horses, the things that bring my heart alive. When I was little I would spend my summer days across the street from my house playing with horses as early as they would let me into the barn in the morning, sack lunch in hand. I helped with morning chores, cleaned tack, and sorted laundry. In exchange I was able to ride several horses each day for free. It was a dream come true at a very young age!
In the middle of the day the barn closed for an hour. Everyone would go home for lunch, and I would slip out back, down the hill and past the horses, through the apple trees, to the sweet little creek at the edge of the property. I’d climb up on the bridge, happy for the shade and the cool air around the stream, and eat lunch. I was a vegetarian already at the time, and for some reason I can remember what I would eat on those days that were so long ago – a bagel, piece of cheese, and lettuce. I loved it. Or maybe I loved what it all represented – long sunshiny days sprinkled with cool breaks and an overarching sense of freedom.
Why do we lose our innate sense of wonder as we grow older? Bills, conformity, society, success … expectations. I suppose all of these come between our physical selves and our spiritual longings in varying degrees over time. For me I know that my sense of wonder and dreaming became deeply tainted after my mother died. We lived in a beautiful old farm house surrounded by nature, our Italian family always in the kitchen laughing loudly and cooking up a heavenly storm. One day this life was there and the next it felt like a wisp, disappeared on the wind.
For many years after that, the loss of my mother and her parents, the loss of that house we filled for so many years with laughter and memories, it was all I could do to live for each moment, one step at a time, one long stretch of day after the next. I was still in touch enough with my dreamy heart but it was loose, distant – like watercolors – beautiful and somewhat shapeless.
I remember wanting to write a book but never sitting down to do it. I have always wanted a pool and a pony, dreams knocking around in my heart, no action. Mostly I just wanted to feel good, and that took a lot of energy then. When I look back on that time in my life, I get a sense of a boat without a rudder. What came to me and felt right I embraced, but I wasn’t aiming for anything with strong, deliberate intention.
Reigniting Vision Later On
Several years later, life brought me to this incredible community of dreamers, people from all walks of life who live for breathing their wildest dreams into being. It was like a quiet tap at the door at first, one person, a gentle knock. I could barely hear it. Slowly another tap, another person in my life with big vision and no sense of limitations.
Before long my guesthouse was filled with these rebel spirits who had chosen to follow their hearts, sails set for their own unique destinations. Who were these people and where were they coming from? [The law of attraction; they were coming from me.] What did they have in common? They refused to let negative chatter dowse their dreams. They surrounded themselves with other dreamers and doers who fan them up and up. The other secret? They each had a unique practice in writing out their biggest, most heart centered visions.
A couple of years ago I followed suit. I wrote on a small note card a list of things I’d like to invite into my life and posted it on a bulletin board in my home office: travel more, get back into camping, swim with dolphins, ride barefoot on the beach, own a horse (and on). I see this list daily. Once in a while I cross something off that no longer resonates with me. Mostly I add to it – new ideas, dreams, adventures, destinations. Slowly but surely I am putting a check mark next to one at a time, in no particular order. I look at this list and see tangible proof of putting my mind to something and turning it into reality.
Something happens when we write down our deepest longings, keep them near, and allow our subconscious to get to work while we are seemingly unaware. Something happens when we feel a stirring in our hearts and answer with action.
The feeling deep in my heart right now is that life is once again as limitless as it was when I was a child, and I am steering towards a magnificent horizon full of dreams coming true. I welcome the unexpected twists and gifts that are sure to pop up along the way.
“If you can imagine it, you can achieve it.
If you can dream it, you can become it.”
~ William Arthur Ward